Last time on An Infectious Legacy, there was rhyming. This time…not so much.
“Ha freaking ha, jerk, I totally heard that, even though I’m way far away in the library working on my future best seller.”
“Furthermore, I’d really appreciate it if you’d be sure to wipe up the slop you’ve managed to slather all over my formerly pristine counters, or else I’m going to touch this here computer and break it good, which will pretty much take care of any kind of money you’ll be making at your job today.”
“And also…oh hey look, my clothes magically changed! Clearly that means I’m pregnified, just like that nice bodiless man I passed on the way in.”
Kurtis decides to come by the library to keep a check on the raging hormones of his wife…or to return that Sherlock Holmes book.
“I did not just see a disembodied head, I did not just see a disembodied head….”
After finishing with their library business, our happy couple returns home where Sara attempts to explain a few things to her somewhat clueless husband.
“So remember when you came into the library and saw that guy with no body?”
“No, I never saw that.”
“….right. Well, anyway, he only looks like that because he’s pregnant, and he’s a man, and real life Sara can’t find any preggo man clothes meshes. Once the baby is born, he plans on being on the next cover of Time Magazine, only he’ll be bottle feeding his baby because he has no breasts.”
“Heh heh….you said ‘breasts’….”
“ANYWAY, this whole conversation is actually a really clumsy segue intended to inform you that….we’re pregnant!!! And, unlike, Mr. Pregnant Man, I will be utilizing my own natural milk bottles, if ya know what I mean…”
“Oh mah gaw…..best. News. EVER.”
“Zieg heil, newspaper!”
Uhm, sorry kitty, we’re not that type of household….
So anyway, time went on, as it’s wont to do, until one day…
“My my my, babe, you are looking quite huge today.”
“I see someone isn’t planning on getting any woohoo ever again.”
“Uh…no no no, you misunderstood, when I said ‘huge’ I was just talking about your, er, glow! Yeah! That’s it! You have a huge glow! Oh, and hey, look at that, I’m running late, gotta go, love you, mean it!!”
“He’s right, I am huge. Being pregnant sucks. ::sadface::”
In an attempt to…uhm…drown her sorrows, Sara decides it’s high time to upgrade the toilet.
“Darn tootin’. I’m sick of barfing in this sub par plumbing device.”
Somehow, this is achieved by…hammering away viciously at the bowl. Hey, are you sure you know what you’re doing?
“Of course I know what I’m doing. I’m an English Major.”
….ok….unsure of the relevance of that in this situation; also, should you really be doing that in your condition?
“I SAID I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING…..oh crap, contraction, contraction!!!!!”
….I rest my case.
“It’s all good…huff…I’ll just…puff…walk it off!”
Unsurprisingly, “walking it off” proved to be less than successful, so Sara finally conceded to defeat and waddled down to the local hospital, where she unexpectedly encountered quite a commotion.
“Well crap. I knew I should have let that Yeti talk me into a home birth….”
Tune in next time to find out what could possibly have caused all the drama at the hospital! Oh, and also to see the baby, I guess….but only if you want to.