So remember how Sara was just plopping baby Alopecia on the floor last time? For once, she had a (semi) legitimate reason. It was so he could turn into this:
I was wrong about him having grey eyes, by the way. It looks like he has my eyes and who knows who’s hair. Not that the hair part matters or anything.
Uhm…no she didn’t (and no she isn’t). She wasn’t even in the same room when Alopecia became a toddler.
“Yes I did. I got the little happy smiley face memory and everything, see?”
After three whole days (or however long it is) of being hugely gravid, Sara is good and sick of being knocked up and is ready to get little baby A-2 earthside already. Of course, Kurtis has just the right suggestion.
“You know, Woohoo is awesome for inducing labor. I saw it on Friends, so it must be true. What say you and I get to work on evicting your latest little womb tenant? Wink wink nudge nudge?”
“Well…since you saw it on Friends and everything….”
Unfortunately for Kurtis, Alopecia (or Al-real) is still pretty behind on his Friends episodes and thoughtlessly decides that facetime with his imaginary friend Aldactone (or Al-imaginary) is far more important than letting dear old dad partake in a little booty call for the sake of the imminent arrival of his rival to the illustrious Infectious heirship. Kurtis is not pleased.
“We are on a bweak, ‘Dectone!” ::nomnomnomnom::
“You! Baby! I don’t know where your hair went or where that doll came from, but if you both don’t leave and let me spend some much needed quality time with your mother, I will tan your hide but good!”
“Oh, I see…when I playfully suggest eating an offspring, it’s totally barbaric, but tanning them is completely reasonable if it gets in the way of nookie. Typical male.”
Never fear, dear readers. In spite of the interruption, Sara and Kurtis do eventually manage to partake in a little bit of the love shower.
“Yeah, baby, that’s right! Either it’ll come out or it’ll get itself a twin! Yeah!’
“….ok, I’m done.”
“All that work for nothing. Now all I am is tired, disgusted, AND pregnant. I’m so tired I can barely even lift this plate over my ginormous pregnant belly.”
Aw, poor Sara. Does everybody feel her pain? No? Well, how about now?
“Ow ow ow ow ow, crikey! The baby’s coming!”
“Yes! I am the man! I knew that Woohoo would do the trick!”
“That was hours ago, you jerk — OW!”
“Ok, ok, it’s cool…I got this, babe. Just, you know, kinda point in this direction, and I’ll catch it!”
“Oh…ok…would it help if I made a goal post?”
(Here’s where I lost a really awesome shot that looked like Kurtis was indeed making a goal post. What follows is a very close rendition made by moi.)
“Just forget it; I’ll take myself to the hospital.”
“Wait for me!!”
Next time: baby! Yay!!