So this chapter’s been kinda cobbled together after a quickie play session to get something new and fresh and awesome out RIGHT NOW. Thereby, I’ve forgotten some of my captions, which is sucky, but oh, well. We open with a quick look at Sara as she comes home with the Simptoms’ brand new baby.
“Behold. I am radiant.”
Meanwhile, this opportunity pops up for Kurtis:
Hmm, an athletic career? What do you think, Kurtis?
“Sure, why not. It’s not like it’s any more or less relevant to my life than a career in the military.”
Kurtis is so eager go out and kick some balls around or whatever that he forgets he’s carrying his son.
“You mean it’s not Take Your Kid to Work Day? 😦 “
“Here you go, little buddy, have some of your mom’s slop while Daddy goes and works on being the next ::enter relevant important athlete’s name here:: Oh, and try not to let her eat you or anything; I hear it’s fairly common for moms to do that with their older litter once a new cub has come along.”
“Erm, wait…where’s he going, and what am I supposed to do with….this?”
“Oh, well. There you go, baby. Get comfortable, you’ll probably be there a while, since I sort of never bought another crib or anything…”
“….I dislike this arrangement immensely.”
“Hi, honey, I’m home! Turns out I don’t start until tomorrow…wanna make out and maybe wink wink nudge nudge?”
“He seriously wants to do this NOW? But I’m so tired…putting that baby on the floor earlier just exhausted me. Maybe if I keep my eyes open he’ll be able to tell I’m not into it…”
“Hey, where are we?? This isn’t our house….where’s our house??!”
Oh, I moved you. Long story. Welcome to Starlight Shores!
You didn’t have any friends. Except for creepy Michael and that old lady you tried to bang.
“Forget the house; what did you do to my HAIR?!
Nothing!….why? Don’t you like it?
“And my CLOTHES?! WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES??”
Your other dress didn’t go with your new hair, so I gave you a new one.
“I look like a hooker from Candy Land.”
No, you…well, yeah. Yeah, you kinda do. Look, when I had kinda short hair with pink highlights, you had kinda short hair with pink highlights. Now I have longer hair with rainbow stripey things, so your hair…this is the best I could do, ok? Why don’t you just work with it for now and go see what Kurtis thinks.
“I look like the scary transvestite love child of Katy Perry and Lady Gaga…he’s going to think you’ve changed this legacy to an Uglacy.”
“Oh hi babe, you do something different to your hair?”
“And your outfit looks like the inside of the ice cream man’s truck!”
“….I’m sorry, I know it’s —“
“SO hot! Why haven’t you dressed like this before?? I’m finding you very alluring right now!”
“Seriously! Let’s go inside and woohoo!”
“What? No! I’m still out here! This green trapping you have swaddled me in will not disguise me from predators forever!”
Heedless of their newborn baby’s screams of rage and terror, Sara and Kurtis proceed to…well, you know, but just to spell it out for you….