Last time we left off on An Infectious Legacy, Sara and Kurtis were getting it on, as they seem to do just about whenever they get a free minute. It’s actually a little disgusting and kind of disturbing, considering the instability of the rest of their family life.
“That was really awesome, babe, but I can’t really look directly at you right now…all the color kind of hurts my eyes.”
Meanwhile, outside, their two offspring are happily entertaining themselves…
“This is gweat! The gweat outdoors is so gweat, and hanging out with my best friend Al’dectone is also really really gweat!!!”
Alopecia, by the way, loves the outdoors and is easily impressed. His baby brother, on the other hand….
“This is horrible!! My idiotic parents have mistaken my healthy love of nature and whatnot for a desire to actually LIVE outside where I will surely starve to death and rot!!!”
Ahem. Everyone, meet baby Anorexia, who I never bothered to introduce in the last chapter because…well, I guess I just forgot. All the autonomous woohoo chewed holes in my brain or something. Anorexia is named after the disease Anorexia Nervosa, which I’m only going to put a picture up of because I love all you guys and don’t want you to die. Or I’m incredibly morbid.
This is Isabelle Caro, in one of the less graphic pictures I could find. She was a French model and actress who became sort of an anorexia spokesperson and was featured on some fairly controversial billboards in order to promote public awareness regarding the disease. She died two years ago when she was twenty-eight.
Simplified, anorexia is a mental disorder in which an individual has such a highly distorted view of their body that they refuse to provide themselves with proper sustenance and effectively slowly starve themselves to death. Usually victims are young women and girls, but boys and men can be afflicted as well. It’s incredibly sad, so if you, or someone you know, is suffering from anorexia, please, get help. Now.
“Meanwhile, while you’re blathering on and on, I’M effectively starving to death without proper sustenance!!!”
OUR Anorexia is a genius who loves the outdoors…although he certainly doesn’t seem too appreciative of them right now. Never fear, Rexie, here your parents are right now…I’m sure they’ll rescue you from what is obviously quite dire straits.
“Hey, little mama…I get my money for nothing, AND my chicks for free. Wink wink, nudge nudge.”
“Is that seriously supposed to be some sort of a come on?”
“Sure it is, baby, I’m complimenting your appearance…see?”
“Oh! I DO see…you’re being flirty! Tee hee! Perhaps we should go inside and celebrate your latest trick in my tunnel of love? ;-)”
“NO! I AM IN THE ORANGE! TEND TO MY NEEDS AT ONCE, PARENTAL FIGURES!!”
“On second thought…maybe we should bring the boys inside first before we start our ‘private investigations.’ “
Meanwhile, on the porch:
“Oh, visiting the new neighbors was such a good idea, Mark (not his real name), snufflemufflesmooch! It makes me feel so…romantic! Slobbernuzzlepeck.”
“You’re right, Pick (not her real name) kizzlewizzlekisss, I feel just like we’re Romeo and Juliet out here, snugglewigglewuggle.”
“I dunno, babe…I feel kinda funny about leaving Rex in here….all the bars make it seem so…cagey. It was okay for the bald one, but Rex seems smarter somehow…”
“Oh, would you just get on with it? I’m pretty sure that baby jingle still hasn’t popped up, and I don’t know how much longer I can stand being in these clothes.”
“Just hold on a second, babe…I know you want your MTV, but the baby’s gotta eat…give us one more minute and I’ll be more than happy to be your sultan of swing.”
“Hrmph. More like my fürst of flop…”
“All right, finally! He’s putting it in its crib!“
“Hey…I just realized that we suddenly have the same amount of cribs as we do kids! That is amazing! I was really worried the new one would have to sleep with us or something...”
“But wait…if the baby jingle happens, then we’ll need a THIRD crib….where are we going to put a third crib? What if we can’t find a third crib? Maybe I should rethink this whole idea….“
“Come here, my little lady writer…enscribe some sweet sweet love poems right here on my lips.”
That about does it for now, folks. Tune in next time to find out all kinds of interesting new things!