Heeeeey kids! I’ll bet you thought I’d never come back, didn’t you? Actually, I wasn’t so sure myself if I’d be coming back. Turns out being pregnant is hard, but not having the internets is harder. Oh well, not your problem, right? Let’s see if I can remember anything that’s even going on with the Simptoms….
Oh yeah. This looks about right.
“Well, I see her newfound hotness hasn’t improved her cooking skills any…”
“Oh, well, it’s probably safe enough to eat. Easier than actually cooking my own food, anyway.”
“And besides….all that extra salmonella and stuff should go straight to my package, rendering my bad boys completely useless. No more babies for me! Bazinga!”
Hmm…pretty sure Kurtis is a little confused about how all this stuff works…
Meanwhile, in the nursery…
“Aw…I really like you, little baby, but I’m just not sure I’m ready for any more right now.”
“Likewise, Mother. I am most certainly of the belief that myself and the elder offspring are quite enough. Actually, I am most certainly of the belief that I myself am quite enough and plan on remedying that situation as soon as I’ve outgrown this oppressive swaddling.”
“This one is my favorite baby. :-)”
Unfortunately for Kurtis, Sara, and baby Rex, Sara made the unfortunate mistake of asking for five children as her LTW, so really this next bit should come as no surprise…
“Oh no….I knew I messed up that chicken carbonara somehow…urrrgggg…..”
Haha, yeah, that must be it.
“No, really…I barely even looked at the recipe. I just threw together a few things that I suspect Kurtis is allergic to.”
Denial. It’s a beautiful thing, isn’t it?
“Oh….crap. I know what this means.”
Yup. Glad you finally caught on there, genius.
“On the bright side, I finally got out of that slut outfit. Those plastic ice cream cones were really chafing my nips.”
Way to look on the bright side. What’s yet another squalling mouth to feed in the name of a little temporary comfort, right?
“Hey little guy…I hear you’re going to be a big brother!”
“That’s right, looks like my awesomeness impregnated your mom before I effectively poisoned all my sperm. This should be the last one, though, because I think this pregnancy is making your mom just a little crazy….well. More crazy than usual, I mean.”
“I don’t see what the big deal is….I’m just so thirsty!”
“And really….drinking from a broken sink isn’t any different from drinking from a water fountain, right? I’ll bet a cat would do it. Oooh, a cat! I should adopt a cat! For the baby!”