When we last left the Simptoms, Sara was hugging her kids —
Uh. Yeah. So….anyway….later, someone, I guess Al, has a friend over. She’s a cute little blonde, so Sara has a little chat with her regarding her future with the Simptom family.
“Look kid. I know what your intentions are…you think you’re gonna just schmooze your way in here and become an heir spouse. Well just forget it. This legacy is garbage anyway.”
“Whatever, lady, I’m just here for the free food.”
“I like the way you think, kid….Welp, gotta go, birthday time, wahoo! Wooo, Kurtis, it’s yo birthday!!”
“Yes, and that means it’s also MY birthday! Woooohoooo, Alopecia, aren’t you EXCITED?!”
“Srsly. I had to have been adopted.”
“Wooooo, one step closer to INFERTILITY!!”
::rolls wish for another child:: “NO! That doesn’t count; my wish queue is full, see??”
“C’mon, baby, you know we have to have one more anyway….now’s as good a time to get started on that as any, right? Wink wink nudge nudge?”
What are you two whispering about over there…?
“Is this Anorexia’s poop….or…..?”
Seriously, guys….we don’t need another baby right now….guys?
“Don’t listen to her, baby. You know you want it. Look deeeeeep into my eyes and tell me you don’t want it.”
“Pretty sure this is Anorexia’s poop….”
“….you’re so right! I DO want to try for baby right now!”
No! Do not want! I forbid it! Be strong, Sara!!
“Cool. Meet me in the bedroom in your naughty wear wink wink nudge nudge.”
Sara, have some respect for yourself and put your clothes back on! Great sky llamas, don’t you know this is exactly what the patriarchy wants…to keep you pregnant and dependent on your man forever and ever and ever??
“Eh, he has a point; we have to have one more anyway….may as well get it over with.”
Ah geeze guys, not in front of the kids….
“All right, Amy, since I may have just gotten your mom knocked up with number five (and six?), it’s probably about time you learned to use the pot.”
“Why, so you guys have one more excuse to ignore me? Not gonna happen!”
While Kurtis attempts to get Amnesia housebroken, our two pets get acquainted. Hey ya’ll, it’s been posited that you guys start your own legacy….a catacy, if you will. What do you think?
“HewWO nurse! Get a woad of doze bazooooombas!! ::pant pant pant::”
“I think not.”
Snowy decides she needs to take a walk to clear her head, and, hopefully, find someone a little less pervy to commiserate with.
“…..and to think, I may be expected to BREED with that dirty little fleabag!”
“Mmmm, THIS dirty fleabag would sure love to curl up on my people’s bed with you and do some breeding of my own….“
Poor Snowy. Good thing she can’t see his thought bubble.
Back at home, Amnesia’s efforts to rebel against the patriarchy have apparently backfired.
“He put me back in my cwib….and I’m still stinky.”
“Hey bald kid! I STIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNKKKK!!”
“I KNOW you did NOT just wake me up! How do YOU like being screamed at and kept awake ALL NIGHT LONG??!”
“Teehee, heavy sleeper trait activate! Night night!”
“This is unacceptable. I MUST get my own room, STAT.”
“What? You call THIS a ‘room?’ Where is the decor? The luxury? The fung schway??! We will not stand for this, right, Aldectone?”
“Sure thing, buddy! This place suuuucks!”
You suck at this “easily impressed” thing, Alopecia. Let’s just try that “being grateful you don’t have to sleep in a room full of babies and toddlers” thing, mmmkay?
“whatEVER, it’s totally too LATE. I’m already far too exhausted to make it back home from school tomorrow and plan to pass out on the pavement. See?”
Whatever yourself, you little punk; I posted the screenshots out of order in this update and that one is “totally” from before you got your own room. So there.
“There’s my wittle babykins! Who’s gonna be a big brother soon? Huh? Who is it? Who is it? Is it YOU?”
Hahaha, not so fast there, bub.
“What….what’s happening…? Birthday??”
“But…..it’s too soon! I’m too young to be an elder!!”
Rex’s only contribution during this chapter (outside of the poop): ::plink::
Oh, calm down, you big baby. My computer just crashed; you’re not an elder. Yet.
“Oh, riiiiight, I see. Who has two thumbs and just brought sexxi back? Come at me, ladies.”
“Yaaaay…..it’s my birthday…..again…..”
“So….nothing in this chapter actually happened?”
Technically, no. So even of you had been pregnant (spoiler alert: you weren’t), you aren’t now.
“And this could happen anytime? We could just keep doing the same things over and over and over like in Groundhog Day?”
Pretty much, yeah.
“Hmmm….I don’t have many handiness skills…think I’ll put myself out of my own misery and try to fix the tv….”
Seriously, Sara? Get a grip and step away from the electronic death machine. I don’t know what the big deal is; you’ll both just make the same wishes over, bada bing, bada boom, you’ll try for baby again, which, as you pointed out before, you have to do anyway….
“You might want to go take a look at Kurtis’s latest wish, oh wise and all-knowing one.”
I guess that’s it for now, folks. Next time: more plot? (Probably not). Will Snowy actually fall for Nugget?? (Doubtful). Will Sara and Kurtis get over this little rough patch and have another baby?! (Eventually….maybe….). While pondering those, and many other valuable universal quandaries, please enjoy a picture of Nugget singing a song about mice!
“When is a moush not a moush is a moush! A moush is the moush for me, oh!”