4 Comments

A.15 How Many Zzzz’s Do You Need?

Hidey ho, new and not so new readers! Last time, the adult Simptoms both began midlife crises, which I’m sure the deep and abiding love they have for each other has by now stricken from their moodlet panel. Right guys?

“My belly feels weird. I better not be pregnant, KURTIS.”

“Are you kidding me? I’m too tired to even THINK about wink wink nudge nudge right now.”

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“Oh, you’re tired! YOU’RE tired?? Seriously?! I can’t even begin to count how many days this poor body has housed YOUR children, and YOU’RE tired!”

“Every time you say ‘tired,’ I get more tired!! I can barely keep my eyes open!”

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Erm. Let’s just go check on the household’s second prospective couple and leave these two in peace for a bit.

“Wowzee Snowy, mes sure wishes to be yous paw whiles you washes yous face — “

“No.”

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Sheesh, Snow, give the kid a break. Look at that sad little kitten face….

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“Sad? Maybe you should take a closer look and see what he’s really thinking…”

“Mmm, DAT TAIL!”

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Oh. Uhm. I see your point. Moving on to the third prospective couple of the house…

“Wut.”

“I KNOW you aren’t talking about ME with McStuffin here!”

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Oh, come on, Al…I’ve been wanting to make an IF real for FOREVER. And you guys are already so close!

“Uh NO. Not EVEN if struck by lunacy! I deserve a real person to be my heir spouse!”

“Me me me me me me me me….”

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“Aldectone, go stand in the corner! I’d rather look at this beetle Nugget brought me than think about marrying your ragtag self one day.”

“Sadface.”

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“Ah, son. I remember when I was your age and had my whole life ahead of me. Smooth, unlined skin, no shrew of a wife to deal with…the world was my hot dog.”

You do not. You were created as a YA in CAS. You were never that age!

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“Shhh, let me just have this moment….”

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“Remember, son: the world is your hotdog. Don’t make the same mistake I did and just settle for the first Sim you’re dropped into a house with. There are plenty of pixels in the game!”

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“I hear him in there….shrew! Plenty of PIXELS?! The NERVE of him…let’s see how much he likes his pancake after I’ve used it to dust the cobwebs off the ceiling! I’ll SHOW him SHREW!”

I….just took this picture to show how good you are at flipping pancakes now….

::is oblivious::

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You two clearly need some time to reconnect…how about a nice, relaxing breakfast together?

“She stinks. I want to divorce her.”

Nooooo….

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“I only stink because my armpits are tired of his face. I want to divorce him.”

….NOOOOO!!!!

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“It’s too late for you to make that wish. I wished it first, so when we break up, it will be because I dumped you, not the other way around.”

“Oh, look who’s suddenly not too tired to act like a total, irrational child.”

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“If he’s sitting here, I’m getting up. I imagine he’s probably too ‘tired’ to deal with my ‘shrewishness’ right now anyway.”

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“Fine by me. Now I can enjoy your crappy cooking in peace.”

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“Whoa there, Wilbur, might wanna slow down on eating my ‘crappy cooking.’ Wouldn’t want to pack on a few too many extra pixels of your own and appear unsightly to all the ones floating around in the game just WAITING with baited breath for me to be dumped by you, now would you?”

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“….is that a spider?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

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“Eh, wouldn’t be the worst thing you’ve made. As soon as I’m done forcing down this sludge, I’ll get one of my wishes fulfilled so I can lock in the one to dump you. That way, I’ll get a hella bunch of points, which I’ll probably use to find someone who can ACTUALLY COOK.”

“I can’t believe you! I gave you the best years of my life! My body has been irreparably ruined by carrying your litter, and you have the absolute gall to make a wish to divorce ME!”

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“Sorry, too busy nomming to hear you talk about how fat you are now.”

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“…I can’t even stand to look at you anymore.”

“NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM!”

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“Wow, I…I feel so much better! I don’t want to divorce Sara! I was just hungry!”

O_O

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Quick, Sara, get in the shower! Maybe you’re just dirty and don’t actually want a divorce!

::huff:: “FINE. But I’m NOT doing it for HIM.”

Whatever, I don’t care about reasons…only results!

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I thought I took the kind of screen shots that showed the wish queue and all that, but I guess I didn’t, so just pretend to be anxiously watching for the divorce wish to disappear while Sara showers…

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….and showers….

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….and….

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….showers…

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“Are you people just going to stand out there and stare at me naked the whole time?? It’s a little disconcerting to have an audience while lathering the nethers, you know!”

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Get rid of that wish, and you can have all the privacy you want, sweet cheeks. And you might want to make it snappy; I’m pretty sure I have the Decensor installed now. If you don’t like being ogled through frosted glass, I don’t imagine being left out in the open without your blur box is going to be that comfortable for you.

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“Oh, for llamas sake, have it your way! Divorces are expensive anyway.” ::wishes for a flu shot::

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And there you have it, kids! When your marriage is in trouble, just give Dr. Sara’s (copyright symbol) triedandtrue Pancake and Shower Remedy (patent pending) a whirl! Come back later to find out if this marriage was TRULY saved, or if KurtSar will collapse once again at the first signs of hunger or stank armpits!

4 comments on “A.15 How Many Zzzz’s Do You Need?

  1. LOL! Very amusing to read … although it was probably more amusing for you to write, considering Sara and Kurtis are simselves and all that. Sim!Kurtis is mean when he’s hungry!

    Poor Nugget. Who could resist that face? Not to mention those scary, manic eyes.

    Also, Alopecia doesn’t know what he’s missing. You’d think he’d jump at the chance to be with someone who came from his own imagination and therefore worships the ground he walks on?

    • I’m beginning to think maybe I take out some sort of internal issues between real me and K on sim me and K…cheap marriage therapy, I suppose. I promise, real Kurtis does NOT just decide to randomly divorce me whenever he’s a bit peckish!

      Hahaha, Nugget is such a pervy little thing, but he’s really grown on me. Also, now that I finally caught up on Susan’s Wonderlands, the idea of animal genetics has gotten interesting, even though I really wasn’t crazy about the idea before. Really, it’s more up to Snowy than me, though; she seems to still need some convincing…

      Al is young and dumb. He doesn’t know what’s good for him yet. Good thing I’m around to tell him. 😉

  2. I feel like I should tell you, since I noticed this chapters ago… that your background is actually drug related. Bit more specific, extacy tablets.

    Also, love this legacy! 😀 *creeps back into the shadows*

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